Homosexuality

Alex Davidson, in his book "What you should know about Homosexuality," says, "When Christ intends to make something wonderful, He starts out with a difficulty and when He intends to make something very wonderful, He starts out with an impossibility." Certainly it is only through the power of the risen Christ that a person can be delivered and set free from homosexuality.

There is much confusion in the thinking of many of God's people about what or who is a homosexual person. We must always bear in mind that the word "homosexual" applies only to one segment of a person and the term in no way represents the whole person. Society calls someone a Homosexual, a Gay or a Queer - simply taking one part of their life, or one particular sin, and giving them that name. A homosexual (lesbian) person is an individual who is motivated in his (her) adult life by a definite preferential erotic attraction to members of the same sex. Usually, but not always, they will indulge in sexual relations with persons of the same sex.

A person's most important sex organ is their brain. The brain can be conditioned to respond to certain stimuli, and will do so if not correctly and biblically handled. There are many factors which we are told may contribute to someone's homosexuality. If a home is not biblically conducted, and mother rules, then this can well contribute to later homosexuality in a boy - he rejects ALL females and looks for male company alone.

There are factors in society also - the feminising of men, particularly comedians, the growth of women's lib, and the portrayal of sex as a mere game, something purely for enjoyment. Other experiences in childhood may also contribute to later homosexuality. All children need healthy and biblical instruction of sexual matters. In the Christian home it is NOT RIGHT to leave it to the education authorities. It is the parent's duty. The Word of God has very clear and concise instructions.

There are many different types of homosexuals, and we must all beware of stereotyping. Appearances are often very deceptive; most homosexuals look just like anybody else. People are individuals and not just part of a category or type, but it is helpful to understand some of the categories into which homosexuals fall. There is, of course, the overt or blatant homosexual. He or she tries to completely identify with the personality, mannerisms and dress of the opposite sex. The 'butchy' woman becomes the active partner in the sexual activity with her female partner, whilst the 'queen' male generally assumes a passive role with his boyfriend.

By far the greatest number of homosexual people are those that we refer to as "Secret-lifers". They are skilled at leading double lives. Few people will know that they are gay. They may well be married and have children. More often than not, their marriage partner will be unaware of their activity; a great deal of which will be carried out in their minds. It has been stated by the Home Office that in the United Kingdom up to one in eight of the male population, and up to one in twenty of the female population is thus affected.

Other various types exist, and these include the extremely manly-man with an obsession for physical fitness, the bisexuals who claim equal interest in either sex, the transsexuals who have been surgically physically changed into the opposite sex, and the saddest of all, the desperate homosexual who haunts public toilets, baths, etc. The latter have an almost uncontrollable desire and are usually unable to sustain meaningful relationships.

The Gay Life is Far From Being Gay!

More than almost any practice, homosexuality affects the thinking and the total life of a person. It is not just a sexual experience, it's a total lifestyle. It is medically documented that a much higher rate of depression and suicide are experienced among Gays than in the general population (up to seven times as much). For those leading double lives there is the constant fear of exposure leading to lies and deception. The incredible promiscuity, the poor self-image and frequent hostility towards the opposite sex make the homosexual very vulnerable. The insatiable quest for the erotic is always there, sex drive is rarely satisfied and thus the priority of life becomes sexual experience.

What does the Word of God have to say about Homosexuality?

Without any doubt at all the Scriptures forbid any kind of homosexual behaviour, although we must always bear in mind when dealing with such persons, that the Bible does not say that a person who feels an attraction to someone of his or her own sex has sinned UNLESS that person entertains those thoughts. God offers the freedom NOT to act out feelings and desires through His grace and strength. Right or wrong moral choices are determined on the basis of the character of God and His purpose in creation. Marriage typifies the theological truth that God is faithful - faithfulness is at the heart of His character - even to the cost of giving His Son. The boundaries that God has set for sex do not exist because it is bad, but because it is GOOD and He wants to protect and guard us from the detrimental effects of its improper use.

Several Old Testament scriptures deal directly with the homosexual lifestyle:

"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God" (DEUTERONOMY 22:5).
"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination" (LEVETICUS 18:22).

"If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them" (LEVITICUS 20:13).

The New Testament speaks out forcibly against this sin:

"Know ye not that the unrighteousness shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind..." (1 CORINTHIANS 6:9-10).

"But we know that the Law is good, if a man use it lawfully; knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient... for whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind..." (1 TIMOTHY 1:8-10).

"Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving them over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal life" (JUDE 7).

ROMANS 1 verses 18-32 states clearly the basic Biblical cause for homosexuality; the creature-Creator distortion.

Man basically rejected God's deity, refusing to honour Him. Instead man humanised God (v.22,25).
Man rejected God's revealed truth (v.19-22). The homosexual practices sin because he chooses and professes his own wisdom, contrary to God's.
Man glorifies the creature instead of the Creator (v.25).

The biblical position on homosexuality is that it is very strictly prohibited to all people - whatever their psychological state or environment circumstances. It is seen as a falsification of the created order of God. Performance of such activity is totally incompatible with the message of the Word of God which calls all men to be conformed to the Holy character of God, and offers them the grace to achieve this conformity.

Factors to be Considered in Counselling Homosexuals

Firstly, the counsellor himself should be totally secure in his own sexuality. He should be loving and compassionate, and totally open and honest about his scriptural convictions. Some Christians are guilty of treating homosexuality as if it were a greater sin than any other. IT IS NOT. Jesus loved sinners whilst hating their sin. He said to the woman taken in adultery: "...go, and sin no more." (JOHN 8:11)

Secondly, the counsellor must have the capacity to see the person apart from his problem. His inherent worth and potential is as one made in the image of God, his problems are no more or less than any other sin, which is common to all men. He should guard against becoming too curious and delving into past sins in details that are unnecessary.

Thirdly, the counsellor should display emotional maturity as well. This will lead him to guard against over-dependence and attachment. Usually he can expect a long-term counselling relationship. Next to the mentally ill, the homosexual will need the longest time for healing. Counsellors availability is essential, particularly during what we in Teen Challenge refer to as the "burning out period" - that period of time following conversion when they may desire to have sexual relations with someone. His lust is burning out, similar to the Drug addict experiencing "cold turkey" withdrawal.

Fourthly, remember that there is no perfect counsellor, good ones are made, not born. If you are grounded in love and the Word and are willing to be flexible and teachable, are ready to extend warmth, love and trust, you can win the confidence of the homosexual seeking help and guidance. Not only must the counsellor possess certain attributes, but the person receiving counsel must also show certain qualities and desires.

He Must Really Want to Change

So many come for counsel simply because of rejection. Others want to get rid of their guilt, but not their pleasures, and few appear to be interested in changing their sexual direction. An entirely new lifestyle with new friends should be the anticipated result. The first and most important step in the counselling must be, of course, the willingness to view the homosexuality as a sin, to repent and forsake it.

He must be ready to receive help - few have ever made this change alone! Tim LaHaye defines three keys that have guaranteed success to those that have come out of the homosexual lifestyle:

They had a strong desire to "come out".
They accepted the external power of God to help them.
They gained support from other people.

There are certain guidelines that should be remembered in the counselling situation. These we list as matters that through the years we have found to be important, and we feel they should be considered prior to counselling, as they will most certainly be encountered:

The more a habit is indulged, the more deeply entrenched it is, and the harder to overcome.
You cannot violate the laws of God and attain true happiness (LUKE 11:28).
Breaking the habit will not necessarily mean that a person will become heterosexual. Celibacy is then the only option (1 CORINTHIANS 7:8,32,35).
Many would rather believe that God made them as they are or that they have an incurable sickness.
Some feel that marrying, and having a normal married sex life will assist in the change, or bring it about. They will almost always return to their former life-style (EPHESIANS 4:22,24).
God accepts each person individually without regard to virtue or fault. God's intention is then to change that person into what He created Him to be (HEBREWS 12:6,10).
False confession or contradiction is frequently seen - it helps to relieve guilt.
Homosexuality is security to some. "Do you want to be whole?", Jesus asks.
Take care to distinguish between practising homosexuals and those with feelings or tendencies. Encourage the latter to stop dwelling on these thoughts (2.COR 10:5).

A Biblical Approach to Counselling Should be Followed

The only basis for lasting change lies in receiving a new nature: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation: old things are passed away; all things are become new" (2 CORINTHIANS 5:17).

Jesus gives a person a new nature with new desires and feelings.
Jesus gives the power to live life in His strength (JOHN 1:12).
Jesus offers forgiveness when a person falls (1 JOHN 1:9).
Anger and resentment begin to die - peace comes in their place (ROMANS 5:1).
New friends replace the old (REVELATION 3:20 and 1 JOHN 1:7).
The new believer must exchange his will for God's will (MATTHEW 7:21).

Steps to be Taken in Overcoming Homosexuality

The following steps are recommended in the doubtless long-term
counselling procedure with the homosexual.

Accept Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord. Then realise that He is your strength (1 JOHN 4:4).
Be continuously controlled by the Holy Spirit, realising that this action is voluntary and must be continuous (EPHESIANS 5:18).
Learn to walk in the Spirit and be strong in the Lord (GALATIANS 5:16).
Face homosexuality as a sin and confess it (ROMANS 1:26; 1 CORINTHIANS 6:9-10; 1 TIMOTHY 1:9-10).
If there is anger or bitterness towards someone:
- Face it as sin (EPHESIANS 4:30,32).
- Confess it (1 JOHN 1:9).
- Ask God to take it away (1 JOHN 5:14-15).
- Ask forgiveness of the object of your anger and thank God for them (1 THESSALONIANS 5:18).
- Ask Jesus for the infilling of the Holy Spirit.
Love and accept yourself, and start thanking God for who you are in Him.
Learn to control your mind (2 CORINTHIANS 10:5).
Thank God for your sexuality!
Make no exception for your decisions.
Avoid homosexual hangouts (1 CORINTHIANS 15:33).
Become active in a Bible-teaching church (HEBREWS 10:25).
Seek Christian companionship.
Become active in a weekly Bible study.
Find one or more intimate friends (PROVERBS 17:17).
Give "check-up" privileges to your close friends.
Believe God for an unlimited future (PSALM 37:5).
Formally present your body to God (ROMANS 6:11,18 and 1 CORINTHIANS 6:19-20).
Become a people helper and begin to share your life and faith.

Deliverance from Homosexuality Means Facing Daily Temptation

The converted homosexual should be prepared for the inevitable temptations. This is the same for all who come to Christ: it is an encounter with the enemy. "Love" is good and pure, and God-given, why then should I reject this love for my own sex? Satan is good at taking the Word of God and twisting it - he has been doing so since Eden.

God has given His clear Promise to deliver His own from temptation, for He "...knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations..." (2 PETER 2:9). Because temptation is usually secret, and nobody else will know about it, we must always bear in mind, that our response to it is under examination by God alone.

What Can be Done to Stem the Rising Tide of Homosexuality in 20th Century Britain

Firstly, all parents should make it a priority to raise their children in well-disciplined homes where mother and father are themselves good models for their children. Over dominant mothers who "rule the roost" can well contribute to their son's later homosexuality.

Secondly, a Bible-based instruction on sexual matters should be part of training and upbringing in both the Christian home and fellowship.

Thirdly, the witness of people whose lives have been changed can be helpful in preventing youth from becoming trapped in this desperate lifestyle.

SHHHHHH...!

We seldom talk about sexual matters, in particular homosexual ones! This is why we become so knotted up, even scared, when God starts to do a miracle in the life of such a person. Let me repeat that there are no big sins and little sins with God!

by John Hirst (National Co-ordinator Teen Challenge U.K.)

Source: 'Redemption Tidings', (October 11, 1984)