From Confusion to Conversion

Emma - Cape Town, South Africa

My testimony begins at the time when I was about 18 years old. My father had left my mother, and didn’t want anything to do with his old life, which unfortunately included me. My mother had various boyfriends, one of whom thought it was time for me to get out of the house and start earning some money. One evening when he was drunk, he took matters into his own hands and beat me until I was unconscious. When I awoke, I saw my mother and this man sitting downstairs drinking wine. Blood was running down my face and my white t-shirt was soaked with it. I can’t remember many details, but I remember him jumping up and running after me shouting that he would beat me to death. I reached the upstairs bathroom, locked the door behind me, climbed out of the window, jumped into the garden and ran away.

Here my odyssey started. I was desperate to find someone who would try and understand me. I had virtually no money to live on, had developed a severe eating disorder, started to smoke and got involved with people who were involved in the occult. During that time, I moved from place to place, had boyfriend after boyfriend and was searching and hoping to find a home or someone who would love me. But there was none. Eventually I ended up renting a room owned by a couple that were heavily involved in New Age and drugs. During my stay there, I read a lot about Eastern religions and healing practices. The lady, who practiced homeopathy, showed a bit of interest in me and started to experiment with homeopathic substances, which I frequently took. The effects were horrendous and my eating disorder became worse.

Around that time I completed my apprenticeship and started my studies. I needed money so I started to work in a well-known advertising agency, where I thought I would meet the right people who could help me in my future career. The agency was a clean world of glamour and prestige, but was completely shallow.

As it so happened, there was a young man who worked there who seemed different to all the other people. One day while he was using the photocopier, I asked him ‘why he was so nice?’ His answer was that it was not him, but Jesus in him, which attracted me. I did not really know how to handle this answer, but he just smiled and asked me if I wanted to join him for a walk during lunch. I agreed and he opened my eyes to the Word of God. He told me about the woman at the well (see JOHN 4 in the Bible), and I felt terribly convicted, thinking of all the different relationships with men I had gone through. Then he showed me the part in the Bible where it says that you should love your enemies and the ones who despitefully use you. I had to think of my uncle, the crazy homeopath, and the many men who built up hope in me to provide love and a home, but who lost interest and walked out on me as soon as they got a glimpse of the emotional baggage I carried with me. Finally he told me that God was a heavenly father who would never walk out on anyone who loved Him. This was the answer to all of my heart’s desires… in my mind I was doing somersaults. Finally he gave me a copy of the New Testament. This became my lifeline and I started to read it in every free minute.

I was convinced God was real and I started to tell people that I was a Christian now. I spoke to this new friend all the time and after months it occurred to me that I would love to share my newly found relationship with other people who had the same beliefs. To my surprise there didn’t seem to be any other people who I could share this with, and at that time I stopped working for the agency as my studies were too demanding and the money I earned there wasn’t enough.

One day I went into a church and picked up several leaflets with addresses I intended to write to. On my way home however I had to cross a bridge and in the middle of it, a wind blew these leaflets out of my hand and they floated away in the water. At that time I said to God that if these were the wrong addresses, then He would have to provide me with the right ones.

Shortly after that I was given a leaflet in the street by a young girl who also took a note of my telephone number. Once I was home she called me the same day and I invited her around for a cup of tea. From then on, it was just a matter of time before I found myself sitting in a Christian meeting. In my heart I knew that God had answered my prayer to lead me to the right address. At the next meeting I was baptised and received the Holy Spirit with the sign of speaking in tongues. All this happened nearly 12 years ago. Today I am married; I live in a lovely home with my child and a second one on the way, with a dog, a cat, a bird and a wonderful ‘family’ of Christian friends. God has really proved himself to be faithful to all His promises. He has been a friend and provider who has led me out of a life of painful confusion and has enabled me, through His Word, to build my house upon a rock.