Saved from Depression, Alcoholism and Suicidal Thoughts!!

Hubert - Stirling, Scotland

Born into a catholic family, I always had some belief in God. There were times when I had to go to church, and times where I even searched for something there voluntarily without knowing what to do or what God was really like. My parents didn't attend church themselves, nor any of my close relatives except my grandfather, who did it very "inconspicuously".

My parents had a cold relationship, and though we were 5 kids, there wasn't anything resembling a normal family. I started hating my father for always showing his hardness and never any kind of love, or even saying "thank you" or "well done" (I worked hard to be best in my school class for the first 4 years). My mother and my siblings also lacked a real relationship with my father, neither did they have any possibility of discussing things in a normal manner with him except through stating cold facts or shouting.

So at the age of 12 I started to drink alcohol, go out to pubs or restaurants with "friends", or just hang around at a friends flat - who were often quite older than me and had easier access to alcohol etc. I started stealing in department stores, stealing bicycles and destroying things in my neighbourhood. My parents had no idea about most of the things I got up to. The fan club of a big soccer club in Munich became my second home. I felt cool at 13, as the others were generally 16 to 25. Through them I got to see and do a lot of bad things I shouldn't have seen or done. By 16 some friends introduced me to grass and cannabis, as well as trying psychopharmaca with alcohol. This became the main thing that kept us all together.

Inwardly I was nearly torn apart, knowing that what I was doing was bad. I knew nothing about sin, how to get free and become a new creation in the sight of God. I often swore, even at God directly, cursing Him. The consequence was that I became more and more depressed, closing up and having nobody I could really talk to. Thoughts about suicide often came to mind including ideas about how to do it, fuelled somewhat through the influence of certain music groups and singers that I regularly listened to. Twice I actually tried to do it, but God didn't allow it and I failed to follow through. Shortly after this, I got to know a girl at school who had a similar amount of problems, and we ended up together. I built my life upon her, my first real "relationship" with a woman and experienced all the results: ups and downs, jealousy, dependency…

The turning point of my life was to come during my duty in the army at the age of 20. There I got to know a funny, clever guy, who claimed to have been a Christian for 4 years after having some kind of very powerful "conversion experience". He was an evolutionist before, highly educated, but God showed him His power and changed his life in one day, similar to Saul's experience in ACTS 9:3-5. From then on, he had a clear aim and the answers to life’s main questions: "Where do we come from? What is the reason for our existence? Where will we end up?" and knew that he would be going to heaven once his duty was done here on earth. I had never met a true Christian before in my whole life who could attest to the power of God, healings, prayer answers, of forgiveness, justice, and who could explain the whole reason for our existence. He also taught me all about false churches, whether they are as big as the catholic church or otherwise, not being built upon the true rock, Jesus.

Within 3 months everything changed: I started to read about the God of the Bible, and without knowing any details, I simply wanted to become a Christian too (I never visited one of their meetings before I got converted). I thought: "If everything he has told me is true, then I'll receive the Holy Spirit with the sign of speaking in new tongues as it says in the Bible. Then I can be baptised as well, starting a new life, sinless and clean". My girlfriend at that time came along too, got saved, but then fell away from God again as her love for herself and the pleasures of life was stronger than her commitment to the Lord (LUKE 8:14). God however kept me on His way until today, blessing me with many friends and a lovely family. He has kept His promises ALWAYS even when I was weak or failing at times:

"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus." (ROMANS 3:23-26)

Praise be to God for His Glory and Mercy!